Thursday 17 September 2015

Anger Management

We all know what anger is, and we've all felt it: whether as a fleeting annoyance or as full-fledged rage.

Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.

The Nature of Anger

Anger is an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones.

Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person (Such as a coworker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.

Expressing Anger

The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.

On the other hand, we can't physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.

People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive—not aggressive—manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn't mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.

Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behavior. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn't allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward—on yourself. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.

Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven't learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren't likely to have many successful relationships.

Solution

Finally, you can calm down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside. Controlling anger before it controls you.

God Bless !!

Wednesday 16 September 2015

Fundamentals of an Optimistic Life

Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. Think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

#KG

Charlie Chaplin - The First Actor to appear on Time Magazine

I have many problems in my life but my lips don't know that, they always smile.

Charlie Chaplin

Tuesday 15 September 2015

A Positive Thought

Work hard for what you want because it won't come to you without a fight. You have to be strong and courageous and know that you can do anything you put your mind to. If somebody puts you down or criticizes you, just keep on believing in yourself and turn it into something positive.

Monday 14 September 2015

Dealing with Life's Problems

How often have you been living life, happy and content, and then suddenly life slaps you in the face with something unexpected? We all have problems, and the truth of the matter is that problems will never go away. They will just change form.

One time you may be struggling with health, the next with money, and still the next with relationships. That is both the curse and blessing of life.

However, you don't have to suffer because everything isn't perfect in your life.

Nothing becomes a problem until you label it so. You've probably noticed that different people have different opinions of what problems are, and how much attention should be given to any one thing. This means that problems exist in our heads, and that we create them, define them, and fear them.

The secret to dealing with life's problems is to realize that they are illusions of our imagination. Sure, they feel very real.

Let's say you're driving your car merrily down the highway, until someone cuts you off. You might fly off the handle, or you might not. It will depend on how you perceive the situation. It's an excellent example of how some people create something to complain about where others are completely fine.

Life will always have "problems" and the way to deal with them is to let them be. You don't have to try to analyze, fantasize, or figure out your problems. Let them figure themselves out. The more you try, the more you fuel the problem, and the more miserable you become.

This doesn't mean you stop solving problems. It means you stop the compulsive worrying and fear-mongering inside your head.

You can stop the madness by simply staying present, and letting whatever happens be. This can be extremely hard if you bump into a problem that is important to you, but it is through those big problems that the biggest changes occur.

Life can seem tough from time to time, but it is through those tough times that you grow as a human being. It's uncomfortable, but that's life.

It's a rollercoaster with both highs and lows, which we all have to live through, so you might as well learn how to deal with the lows. The more comfortable you become with life's problems, the more you'll enjoy life's gifts.

Life is what it is, and most of life's problems are created by us. The problems are events in our life, no one is denying that, but the extrapolation that we do freaks us out, and then we wonder why we feel so bad.

It's a life-long habit most of us have cultivated, which means we can change it. But change starts with awareness. Be kind to yourself, and enjoy both the highs and the lows my dear Friends.

God Bless !!

Thursday 10 September 2015

Swami Vivekananda

You have to grow from the inside out. None can teach you, none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher but your own soul.

Swami Vivekananda

Life's Rule :-)

The key is not to prioritize what is on the schedule, but to schedule your priorities.